GET SMART
by dorothy's ruby slippers
Summary: A one-shot set in the Operation: L.O.V.E’s Recovery Universe and Timeline submitted for the 2010 Hidden Mask Challenge. It is recommended that readers read through chapter 10 of OLR before reading this o/s.


**Title: ****GET SMART: a one-shot set in the Operation: L.O.V.E's Recovery Universe and Timeline**

**Your pen name: dorothy's ruby slippers **

**Characters: Angela Weber and the rest of the OLR gang**

**Rating: M/NC-17 for violence, language and lemons**

**Disclaimer: All hail Stephanie Meyer who owns all Twilight characters, and all not-so-veiled Twi-references and bastardized quotes. Me? I own what's left. **

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is my intellectual property. No copying, translation or other reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

_**This one-shot takes place in the "Operation: L.O.V.E's Recovery" universe, and occurs within the existing OLR timeline, but has been written for the 2010 "Hidden Mask Challenge." **_

AngPOV

To most, even to some of those closest to me, I am invisible. I am the epitome of the Invisible Woman. I suppose in my line of work that this is an asset. I am a covert operative and special agent in service by contract to the United States Government. We do the dirty work that keeps civilian Americans safe and blissfully unaware of the teeming evil that exists in all corners of this globe we all inhabit. I plan and execute logistical operations for our team. I am an expert at what I do. I am very comfortable and confident in this truth, although it might not be immediately obvious to an outside observer. I tend to fly below the radar. I prefer it this way.

Day-to-day, I am Agent 99 to Isabella Swan's, Bella's, Maxwell Smart. This is not to say that Bella is bumbling and unskilled as the original Maxwell Smart was portrayed, she is anything but. Bella is an asset among assets. Her skill, precision, and efficiency always amaze me. Yet, and still, I am always the sidekick. Not even, most days, I feel like I am but a bit player in our merry band of marauders. I suppose Alice is more the sidekick in the truest sense of the word. She and Bella are very close. She and Bella seem to get each other in a way that I will never be able to fathom.

Don't get me wrong; Bella and I are colleagues and friends. Most recently, we are more than that. Upon arriving in London, we've become roommates in an extremely posh flat a stone's throw from MI6 headquarters. Despite our new status as roommates, Bella and I will never have the connection that she and Alice seem to share. I know this, and I'm okay with this. To offer a very British example, if Harry is the spare to Will's heir, I am the spare to Bella's Alice. This is what it is. Yet and still, Bella, Alice, and I get along very well. We are teammates, and in a strange way, as the girls of our team, we are our own peculiar little sorority.

Some on our team might say that I am too modest. It's true that our team lead, Emmett McCarty, says that he cannot manage without me. That is flattering, but I have my doubts. Aren't we all expendable in the end? The world does keep on spinning, does it not? If I walked away tomorrow, to say, get married and have children embracing a quiet little life in suburban America, they'd have me replaced by another capable set of hands by lunchtime. It is the way of our world.

Nevertheless, I keep our team functioning and on track. If Bella is the star, and she is, I am the stage manager working behind the scenes to make sure all goes smoothly for her and the rest of our team. I don't mind this. It suits me.

It is a miracle that I even find myself where I am. Being the daughter of an Evangelical minister in the Corn Belt, it is astonishing that I ever left the quaint and stifling confines of our insular community in the Midwest. Nevertheless, I always had an inkling that a quiet Midwestern life was not quite for me, and I escaped at my earliest opportunity. I simply couldn't wait to escape the cookie cutter future that being a minister's daughter would dictate in that part of the world. Make no mistake, I love my parents, and I absolutely adore my younger, twin brothers, Joshua and Isaac. Nevertheless, I needed more out of life than I would experience on the shores of Geist Reservoir in the sleepy suburbs of Indianapolis, Indiana.

It's true. I am the quintessential "good girl." I fully realize that I'm one of those girls that make bad girls wretch. I accept this. Honestly, I understand this. I never rebelled. I never drank, did drugs, or had wild sex orgies. I love my parents. I am a good daughter. I love my siblings. I am a good sister. I love my friends. I am a good friend. I respect and appreciate my colleagues. I am a good agent. I am a competent and efficient colleague. I balance my checkbook, and overpay my taxes for God's sake! Yet, and still, that doesn't mean that I would be content to live a small town, insular little life. I always wanted more.

For me, _MORE_ showed up in the form of a scholarship to Northwestern University in Chicago. After four years of undergraduate study, I realized I wanted to go on to graduate school, and I managed to get a graduate research assistantship at American University in Washington D.C. While in graduate school, a professor who had taken a particular interest in me referred me to Emmett McCarty, who recruited me into the Company. Emmett was charming and persuasive in his pursuit of me. In the end, he won out over an internship at the Smithsonian, and a post with the National Archives. Make no mistake; running logistics for our team is much more rewarding than cataloging relics. I am quite pleased and grateful with my lot in life.

In many ways, our team is like a little family to me: Cheney, Newton, Yorkie, Brandon, McCarty, Swan, and even Hudson, who tends to keep his distance from the rest of us, are all family to me. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. They all feel like siblings, and I adore them.

Well, with perhaps the exception of Cheney. Ben Cheney is more. Ben Cheney just gets me; he has since the day we first met. He is smart, conscientious, and kind. He makes me swoon. He won't be deterred by my line of work, because we are on similar career paths. He is the commint expert on our team. He's magnificent, really; and that is not just the infatuation talking. He is an expert in commint. Beyond his professional prowess, he has also proven to be a reliable ally, and true friend to me and the others on our team. In short, he is my perfect match. While he has not publicly recognized this truth as yet, it is clear that we both recognize that it is so. I am ass over tea kettle in love with Ben Cheney. He hasn't said so, but I suspect that he may just be ass over tea kettle in love with me as well. I think we're both just getting used to the truth of it, and trying to figure out how to navigate forward since we are such close colleagues. Nevertheless, I know with an unfathomable certainty that I cannot imagine my life, or our team without him. Yet and still, I am a girl, and ultimately on some level, I am insecure and I question and over-analyze things. I wish I could be more certain that he returns this sentiment. Time will tell, I suppose.

Of course, both Ben and I are reasonable and rational people. Given our status as teammates and colleagues, and lest we forget: agents, we are naturally concerned about perceptions and potential fallout should things not work out as we might hope. While our connection may seem to us like more kismet than convenience, we are both sensible enough to realize that even the most passionate of connections, those love affairs that burn the hottest and brightest, do not always stand the test of time. As such, we are taking things slowly. This works for both of us.

Beyond my connection with Ben, which admittedly, is an extremely rare exception to my own personal and professional rules, I think of the rest of our team as family: our own bizarre little dysfunctional family of spooks.

Most notable in our little family of spooks is Senior Agent-in-Charge, Special Agent, Emmett McCarty: our team lead. Emmett is the best. Not only is he a terrific leader and a great boss, but he's also a genuinely good man. He's true blue. He effortlessly leads our merry band of marauders with a skill that is enviable. Now, he has a bit of a challenge. With us now ensconced in London at MI6 headquarters, Emmett has a brand new set of realities to deal with, and one of the most formidable comes in the shape and form of a statuesque, British, blonde bombshell named Special Agent, Rosalie Hale. Frankly, our Emmett is toast.

Emmett and the British team lead, Rosalie, can barely keep from ripping each other apart at every turn. They would never ever admit it, but it is only a matter of time before they rip each others' clothes off, and get with doing the nasty! He doesn't know it yet, but he doesn't have a chance. If Emmett is Superman, then Rosalie is his kryptonite, and he will never, ever, be able to resist her. He can't see this yet, she likely doesn't see this yet, but I do. Then again, being invisible grants keen powers of observation, I generally see more than most. I am the consummate observer. Take it from me; Emmett and Rosalie are an inevitability. I suspect that it's, quite literally, only a matter of time. Quite simply, Rosalie and Emmett were made for each other. That is, of course, if they don't wind up killing each other first.

Then, there's Alice. Oh Alice, Alice is a complete and utter trip. Our Alice Brandon likens herself to a cartoon character: Edna E. Mode from _The Incredibles_. Who does that? She actually, albeit playfully, claims that she clearly must be the real life inspiration for pint-sized fashionista and gadget guru. Yes, she's a kooky one, alright. Oddly enough, it is an eerily accurate comparison. She's also completely adorable and utterly infectious in her enthusiasm and joi de vivre. On top of that, Alice is a whiz at all things gadgety, and a maestro whenever a disguise is needed. For Bella, disguises and gadgets are needed often. Make no mistake, Alice is amazing. She is an amazing agent, and an amazing friend to all of us.

Speaking of doing the nasty, now that we are in London, Alice has literally come to life in full living Technicolor, or should I say HD? I have a hunch that Special Agent Jasper Whitlock, an agent who has been on loan to SIS for the past several years, has everything to do with her newly-found illumination.

Apparently, she and Whitlock have a past. Since our arrival in London, Alice and Jasper immediately picked up where they left off nearly six years ago. They have been practically inseparable since our first briefing at MI6 HQ. Frankly, they are unbelievably adorable. After being reunited following a long separation, they cannot seem to keep their hands off of each other. It doesn't seem to affect their ability to function professionally, so why not? Perhaps I'm biased, and seeking to justify my own office romance. Sue me. Good for them! They've waited a long time for each other.

Agent Whitlock is also known as codename: RANGER. His codename is clearly due to his Texas roots and brief stint as a Texas Ranger. He is a key strategist, and will clearly play a pivotal role in this upcoming mission. He's been imbedded within the MI6 contingent of our newly formed collaborative, so he brings a unique perspective to the upcoming operation. Of course, I've picked up on a bizarre current between Agent Whitlock and Emmett's counterpart, and MI6 team lead, Rosalie Hale. I cannot put my finger on what is amiss there, but definitely, mark my words, something is amiss. I have killer instincts regarding people, and I am rarely wrong. Something is definitely not quite right between those two.

The other guys on our team round things out, and fill in the gaps in our inherent strengths as a team. James Hudson can track a target like nobody's business. That's probably what makes me slightly uncomfortable around him. There's something about him and his unearthly good looks that makes me feel ever-so-slightly uncomfortable around him. It's probably just me, honestly. However, I always get the feeling that he aspires to more to his own detriment.

When Bella was promoted above him, and moved to field lead status, James didn't take it well. He sulked, and stomped around for months. All of us, except Bella who seemed oblivious, could tell that he was green with envy. What most of our team doesn't realize is that "field lead status" has nothing to do with being bait for an operation, and everything to do with being our team's lethal weapon. Even Bella doesn't realize that I know what her true function in our team is. Who of us would volunteer for that if they knew the full story? Perhaps my salt-of-the-earth religious upbringing hinders my judgment in this area. After all, "thou shall not kill," is one of the Ten Commandments, is it not? Of course, Mike Newton might differ: he's one of those true American hero-types who worships at the altar of American patriotism.

James Hudson and Mike Newton are polar opposites. If James' skills are highly specialized and targeted toward fingering our enemies, Mike is our jack-of-all-trades. He's our ex-military, well-rounded team member. He's one of these men who'd gladly give it all for God and country. Honestly, without him, we'd make mistake after mistake with other USG agencies and official military installations. Mike keeps us honest, on track, and out of trouble with the higher-ups. He's also our resident munitions expert. There's truly no one better with all sorts of weaponry. Beyond all that, Mike is a good man. Oddly enough, his only weakness, his Achilles heel if you will, is the flaming torch that he carries for Bella. Everyone makes fun, teases him, and turns it into a bit of a joke, but I feel sorry for Mike. It's so clear to me that he truly cares for Bella. Yet, she will never return his affections the way he might hope. Everyone seems to know this, but Newton. It's a bit sad, really.

Then there's Eric Yorkie, who is our resident computer genius. He was a young prodigy and a dangerous teenaged-computer hacker who wound up getting caught by the FBI. In lieu of a fairly lengthy prison term, he was recruited into the Company. Eric is beyond compare when dealing with anything silicon, binary codes, and absolutely everything related to the ethers of the interwebs. I suppose a government-funded undergraduate degree from Stanford, and two post-graduate degrees from MIT will do that for a fellow. What that man can do with a computer, boggles the mind, truly. He could, quite literally, give Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak, and Steve Jobs a run for their money. It's quite astonishing why he never pursued a career in the private sector once he'd worked off his time-owed, because he could have retired early as an insanely wealthy man well before the age of 35, I'm quite certain of it. He is the quintessential computer geek. However, I will offer that he does have considerably better social skills than your average run-of-the-mill computer genius. That, and despite his seeming inability to get laid, everyone on our team genuinely likes and values him. Eric is a good guy.

Then, finally, there's Bella. Bella has always seemed like a bit of a puzzle to me when compared to the rest of the team. Now that we are temporary roommates here in London, I feel like I have new insight into what makes Special Agent Isabella Swan tick. With Bella, what you see is never really what you get. She is much more than complex. She is the quintessential enigma.

Oh Bella, I do feel so sorry for that girl. She carries the weight of our team, and sadly, she also always carries the weight of her Jake's death on her shoulders. I knew Jake. Many would think that he was a joker, or a slacker, but I knew differently. He took his work, and his Bella, very, very seriously. I was part of the team when Jake was still with us, and Bella and Jake operated as a team. Jake was a good man, and a good agent. Beyond that, Bella and Jake were magic together; everyone felt it. They never failed, and through it all, they were always the very best of friends. Of course, until they did, in fact, fail together.

I was at HQ the day that Emmett and Alice carried Bella in after the warehouse debacle. She was, quite literally, catatonic. Poor thing. That day was devastating for all of us. I wasn't sure whether Bella would bounce back, ever, but she did. Not only did she bounce back, but she bounced back better, more effective, and more efficient than she'd ever been before Jake's death. It's almost as if when Jake died, a part of Bella died as well, and in the aftermath she became an efficient, effective and unimaginably lethal machine. Quite frankly, that was a miracle to every single member of the team with the exception of James who was stewing in his own jealousy, and was green with envy during those days.

Let's be clear, Bella may play like nothing fazes her, but I can tell that she still mourns Jake's death even four years later. I've seen it. I feel it. Moreover, I know she feels it. I see the lingering sadness in her eyes. I feel it in her every choice, forward movement, and unbelievably risky chance she takes. Now that we've arrived in London, there is a new wrinkle that promises to bring a cataclysmic shift to Bella Swan's personal and professional life. Moreover, I venture to guess that he may very well already have affected the cataclysmic shift. That seismic shift has arrived in the shape and form of one, Special Agent Edward Cullen. Edward is an MI6 agent on the team we've partnered with at the British Secret Intelligence Service, and a regular modern-day James Bond, of sorts.

I've only just met Special Agent Edward Cullen, so I don't know him very well. He does strike a devastating first impression. It's not just his uncommonly good looks, either. He has an effortlessness about him that is unnerving and completely charming. It's clear that he is quite smart, self-possessed and extremely competent. He is the yang to Bella's yin. However, I imagine there is a hoard of women lining up to be the yin to Edward Cullen's yang. Then again, Edward Cullen has never met anyone quite like Bella Swan.

Neither Edward nor Bella seem to know what to make of the other, and while they may not be willing or able to admit it to themselves or one another, they have an undeniable chemistry that I doubt either will be able to outrun or escape. Bella has been so wounded by Jakes death, but it seems that Edward may just be the thing to bring her out of her prolonged grief. It's clear that they're both fascinated by each other, even though neither would admit it at this point. They are doing this slow dance that may be likened to a tango between Hepburn and Tracy minus the inconvenient estranged wife. As with Emmett and Rosalie, just from the brief period I've observed them, it feels like these two are fated. They simply just don't know it yet.

Even if they do not see it yet, they mesh really well together in spite of the circumstances. I'm fairly certain that I, and perhaps Alice, are the only ones who have noticed. While I rely on my keen powers of observation, Alice seems to rely on this other-worldly sixth sense.

Having been there with Ben, I empathize with Edward's and Bella's ethical dilemma, and still, being a romantic at heart, secretly hope that they will throw caution to the wind, professional relationship and responsibility be damned, and follow their hearts. Well, follow their hearts and their hormones; it's clear that the hormones are raging on both sides when you see them together.

In fact, it's fair to say that hearts and hormones are raging all around on our team with this newest development. Lately, in moments, I've wondered if Shakespeare's Puck and his magical juice made from the love-in-idleness flower has been unleashed on the lot of us, not that any of us have the luxury of being idle with this latest threat looming large. That brings us to the crux of our latest mission. We've teamed up with the MI6 team to bring down this international powerhouse of evil that seemingly makes Osama Bin Laden look like Mary Poppins.

According to our latest commint, Volturi Enterprises Unlimited, Inc. is an extremely powerful and legitimate multi-national front for a web of inexplicable array of worldwide criminal and treasonous activity. Their specialty seems to be supporting terrorists, war lords, pirates, human traffickers and drug czars in achieving their illegal and immoral ends. The astounding part of it all is that they do all of this under a veil of being good corporate and global citizens. To the rest of the world, VE Ultd., Inc., is a pillar of every community in which it operates. Their image is above reproach, just as the Volturi brothers, Aro, Caius, and the late Marcus, like it. It is our job to: learn how they operate; identify their weaknesses; thwart any criminal or terrorist activity; and if possible, bring them down.

Since the Volturi brothers and their conglomerate are at the center of this operation, I named our mission: Operation: L.O.V.E's Recovery:Logistical Operations for Volturi Extermination [and] Recovery. Of course, only I am aware of the double entendre in the mission name. From what I've observed thus far, it seems inevitable that the majority of the members on our newly-formed joint team will be recovering much more than any of us are angling for at this point. In this case and context, L.O.V.E isn't just an acronym. Of course, that's my own, personal inside joke.

It's all very curious. This work is so transitory. In one week's time, we've traveled to London, and blended teams with our British counterpart, and we are embarking upon a mission that may prove to be more difficult and dangerous than any of us have ever faced in our entire careers. It's all a bit daunting. In the short time since we've arrived in London, some interesting truths have emerged:

First, Volturi Enterprises, Unlimited, and more specifically the Volturi brothers, are a force of evil that is plaguing the world stage, and they must be stopped.

Second, our newly-formed team, and more specifically Bella and Edward, are on the verge of facing this force of evil that I'm not entirely positive can be defeated.

Third, all of this is unfolding amid an environment where, every which way I look; I can cut the sexual tension with a knife!

The Chinese have a proverb that is actually a curse. It goes something like, "May you live in interesting times." Well, it is clear that there are interesting times ahead for every single member of our team. Sometimes, it's advantageous to be invisible. It makes it harder for those Chinese curses to find you!

a/n –

Spyspeak:

**COMMINT **– acronym for communications intelligence.


End file.
